What Do You See?

Today, I awoke a full 54 minutes early of my alarm clock. I was rested and lay there taking time to slowly become aware of what woke me and everything I was surrounded by, thinking, feeling, hearing in my Spirit.


That's it!  God was speaking to me. Kneading me. Preparing me.  So rather than get up at all, I continued to lay on my back, very awake. Everything within me throbbing with a longing to draw closer to God to HIS mind, to HIM.


Not sure yet of where we were heading, I felt it best to begin with gratitude. "Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise."  This segued into inviting God into every aspect of my life, especially of my day ahead.  Spent some time here with this one.  Jeremiah 29:11, "Thy word have I hid my heart that I might not sin against thee."  "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." "establish my comings and goings." "The steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord."


Submitting my will.  My talents. My gifts. My plans. My desires. My hopes. My day, every second of it both in linear and non-linear "time".


Still, I felt God massaging me in my chest area... kneading it like yeast bread.  Lovingly. Preparing me for???? For what, God?


There has been such a shifting in me. In my thinking. In my vision. In my Spirit.  Here it is safe to admit, somethings like the idea or the word or social connotations of "L-O-V-E" scare me to my core.  Yet, in spite of me, there is a flow in and out, that is as inexorable as the tides of the ocean that GOD created.


I know the exact moment I opened this specific Pandora's box. Spring 2010 when I lived, rested on the mountain ledge and healed in town.  It was in the Prayer Room at the Pentecostals of Cooper City.  I was alone, on a weekday.  I have a favorite "altar" there.  It's in the center area, across from the World Missions map and beside the bay window facing the main highway of Flamingo Rd, representing the Mission Field and Harvest.


There is an ottoman, or something like that. This one is a leather bound rectangle. High enough to sit up, propped  to read, low enough to kneel beside, and lean onto. Perfect for my often position of draping over it. feet behind me, body across, hands on the other side, pleading.  Fully surrendering me on the altar.


During an intense prayer, I asked God to settle onto me the mantle of Compassion and of Love for Others.  HE responded immediately, as the warm annointing oil began to course across and over me, filling me from within to without.  I already have these gifts. God understood my heart's cry for a BURDEN and a PASSION for Others.


Let it be.


This commenced a new chapter in my Journey.  A stride towards my Calling.  A companion to my Purpose. A fuel for my Big Picture. Merging and fusing my spiritual life with my mental and emotional life. Wings to my feet. Vision, clarity, surrender of me, unto HIM.


A step out of Complacency and the Past, into the Present Moment and Future  that I have been in the fire preparing for my entire life.


Today, I stayed in an almost uneasy state.  Not in a bad way. I couldn't get into my music. I didn't want to email or text randomly. I was a catch between a sob and a surge of God SPEAKING out of me.  More than once, the Spirit moved and I burst out in His tongue. 


At the latter portion of my workday, I decided to ask the question to a vast representation of people.  The ones who have responded have been more than I could bear if it was "me".  At once, I had to STOP "me" and enter directly into HIM with PURPOSE.  I had to say, "GOD! This is more than I bargained for. This is too much for me. I cannot handle the pain, the depth, the breadth. You have GOT TO TAKE OVER - NOW, GOD!"


God then showed me as His creation, on the Potter's wheel. Shaping me as HE sees me to be.  My cry today was, "God, if I am to be your earthly hands, feet, voice in this?  You HAVE TO equip me. Protect me. Direct me."


"I will."


and just like that, the answers came, the directions flowed through me, and I was able to peacefully be FULLY PRESENT to the person responding to my questions, and GOD spoke to them.


It was beautiful. Educational. Humbling. And draining.


Here are excerpts of the responses today, "When you see God, what do you see?"  and sometimes the follow up question of "When you see God, how do you see yourself."


Let the healing begin~

June 28, 2011

o    Berry writes:

 Truthfully? I see a God that whose light illuminates the the very fiber of my soul. I know that When I get to Heaven that his Glory will be the light that shines everywhere. I see the words, wisdom, love, kindness, protector, provider, advocate, and shelter, as though if you could actually see a word for what it is... That is who God is to me... I hope this is what you are looking for.. You may share this...

o    J:   thank you so much, Berry. You are an inspiration.

There is not a right or wrong answer. I asked the question so it was open on purpose.

Also, thank you for specific permission to share your response. This began as banter among friends, just after a very ministering time. The more I ask "Believers" and "non-Believers"?

The more humbled and profoundly loved and challenged I am.

Blessings, Brother!

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 Kim writes: 

I don't see God -- He is a spirit   I feel His presence, witness His character, and recognize the work of His Kingdom  -- which by the way is in us. How about you? ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Theresa writes:


 In the world and not only see but feel the holy spirit come over me and I know I just recognized what I see everyday God.

I see everything because I know God is in everything. But matter makes up everything and when I look at my tv I don't think look matter. Nor Do I stop and think look God. Because I'm blind to my own selfish laziness and don't recognize the gift of sight God has blessed me with.

But on occassion for a reason I can not think of right now or a reason that escapes me there are times when I stop and really see the beauty.

( I felt led to ask, ”How do you see you?”   Later, to keep her talking, I asked,  “How do you see yourself, when you see God?”)

T: I have never looked at myself when I felt God so I can't say I see Him in me but when I do look at myself I usually see a vacant lot that Has potential to become anything but no one ever sees me instead people past me by litter on me. I get flooded. Over run with weeds. Just  Abandoned. Waiting for someone to see how beautiful I can be if time and care were taken to bring it out.

I thanked her periodically throughout this exchange.  Told her I loved her.  Encouraged her to continue. 

T:  When she was spent, she said that I can trust her to psychobabble anytime.  That the reason I am the only person that gets her is because I am half crazy too. 

J: I ended the serious talks by deeply thanking her again, loving her, “Theresa, thank you for sounding out ideas with me today. I receive it as a gift from you. Precious to me. Whatevah it takes, LOL.”  (combined several statements in a flow between us to make it legible.)

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Otis writes:

o    Well, I never thought about it before, but I would have to say Everything living thing around me. Since I know it
Says in the good book that God created
Everything in his "Own image.". So let me
Know if i'm correct.

R/
OT

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Marie writes:

o    When I read that "when you see God" and I have to think about it in mainly physical terms...I guess...I don't really see God, not physically...but I do see the manifestations of God...when I worship Him I "feel" His presence all around me. It makes me cry and feel deeply moved by the fact that He would choose to touch me...even knowing me as well as He does....

o    I feel Him mostly.....and it usually depends on the type of conversation we are having at the time. Sometimes its the "still small voice" of warning....that occasionally I have the wisdom to listen to. Or its the urgency I feel when I know one of my kids are in trouble..like a not so gentle nudging to get up and pray NOW!!!

it's like the feeling when I so desperate for God that, when my eyes are closed, I know that if I open them I will see his arms around me...cause I can feel them...literally feel them. At times I have felt the power of God flow through me to heal or touch another person...that is an incredibly humbling feeling. I think that "seeing" God is all about Him being what we desire/need at the time. He has all the names of Counselor, Great Physician, Father, Friend, etc., because he will be all those different manifestations in your life when you need them...each one is for us...and thats the part that blows my mind. He is willing to become what I need...wow....

o     

o    I see the physical manifestations of Him in my children (and now my grandchildren), I see His beauty all around me in the beauty of our world...small things that show me He cares for me, I see his handiwork..and it makes me thankful. When I read His word and stumble across a pearl that I didn't know (or remember lol) and it touches my soul in a real and tangible way...it makes me cry, or smile, or I feel a sudden brush of His presence all around me. When I see someone filled with the Holy Ghost for the first time...and watch the awe and wonder come over their faces...especially a child, THAT is really seeing God....

o    I guess I "see" Him in so many ways and places because I am always looking for Him...because I cannot believe that He is also looking for me...I think if you are always looking for Him, He will reveal Himself one way or another...and that just blows my mind! I feel like Paul sometimes...chief amongst sinners...so the face that I can "see" Him any where is just so incredible at times the shear magnitude of it makes me weep....so I guess that's what you are asking...if not let me know and I'll try again..lol

o 

o

J:  Sis, I love you! There is no right or wrong answer. And you also touched on my 2nd part to the questions "When you see God, How do you see yourself?"

You can add anything here you feel led to share. You bless me. As a friend. As a mother figure. As a Mother of Israel. As a teacher. You mean sooo much to me, all the time.

THANK YOU from my depths for sounding things out with me! I am blessed.
Jan

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Let The Curiousity Begin

Welcome. This is the first posting of what I am optimistically expecting to be a myriad of conversations on "God".
God's image, roles, nature, position, plans. Our views of God. Our views of ourselves. Anything else that surfaces.

Open ended questions that invite open answers.

This particular conversation took place after I became challenged in my own thinking. I have a wonderful friend that bounces ideas with me and we run the gamut. Something we share is a curiousity. That is what I am uniting here on this new blog.

All the "question" words apply..

Curiously yours,
Jan M. Olsen
~J~
Let the CURIOUSITY begin~

·   

J: Rob, can i ask you a God question?

R: of course.... you will probably just get a Rob answer though :-)

J: i hope so,,, a deeper- than- most- people Rob answer :)

here goes,,, trust me,,, i have a reason for asking.

<when you think of God, what do you SEE? Please describe what you SEE,

·        

R: Rob: wow.... dont have an answer right away.... I know I used to "see" or imagine him strictly in the form of the man Jesus...

 now off the cuff Hes so much bigger in my seasons of prayer or how I see Him... I honestly dont have an accurate picture or image to explain...many times I see Him moving through... more in spirit form, wrapping Himself in individuals and flowing through them....

 make any sense... sorry... you have me thinking now....

·        

J: J: dont be sorry. yes it makes sense. someone said something to me that got me thinking also,,,, you are the deepest person i know,,, that's Oneness.

do u want to think more about it and tell me more before i send the "what brought this on?"

 i want you to tell or think of as much from your heart ,,, before we spin off...

R: go ahead and tell me

·        

J: I had a convo with Mark. Here is what I said to him :

"God was always the constant. Ineffable. Immutable. He was always omnipresent, even when I wander. He is omnipotent, when I am weak and fallible. He is omniscient when I just don't know, and reach the end of knowledge."

My friend quoted me back, then wrote the following:

Mark: “I believe God is in all great works of art, literature, and
education. Not limited by them (God is bigger than that), but in them.

(still his quote -) - I often think that man has created God in his image
rather than thinking of ourselves as created in his image.

Imagine that  --- created in the image of God. What would God want for himself, his
children, his creations? Surely, it must be to feel our best, to allow the flow, to allow the good and to know the difference.”

end of the Mark's quote

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Rob? It hit me,,,, I see God as a man,,,, my view had become of God as masculine in man's image.

my friend's musing reminded me we are in GOD'S image,,,,

really made me think,,,, and repent to God.

·        

R:  Rob: I like that.... kinda puts into words a little of what I was trying to covey... when we can see ourselves and confindently walk as though we truly are made in His image, to operate, think, speak and act like Him what would our world look like? I believe our limited perception of God limits his activity in our lives.... true God stuff, the things we dont understand or cant explain....

·         J: thank you for being willing to go deep into it with me....

so maybe i am not completely losing my mind,, or my salvation :) whew!

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Angel: 

Angel called on her lunch break. Remember, I said Angel and Rob are the 2 people I would feel okay to ask the "image of God" question. Well,, her answer surprised me as well, but I find it to be beautiful and revealing.

I wrote down notes as I was driving,,, let me see if I can decode them.

Angel's views:

When Angel sees God, it is light. Like when angels visit, they look like live men, but bigger. Hair and eyes of gold and fire.

When she is in prayer and has reached the throne room, as she looks up, God is not intimidating. Rather he is her security. He makes her feel like "You're okay. I got you now. Nothing is going to get in to harm or disturb you."

He is watching her. Not intimidating, but calming. He is powerful. His image is POWER.

She feels warm, almost hot,, and smells the ancient incense or annointing oil. Aaron says it emnates FROM her.

===================================================

it's how she sees herself that touched me so deeply.

Her words, jotted down :" It's more of what I see of me. In a white robe, but not like anything I have ever seen before. Nothing that man has ever created. I am barefeet, and my hair is down (25 years long).

I am not seeing me, the Angela Gilmore that I see in the mirror every day. I am not little. And I am not the same insignificant little girl when God sees me.

(I asked if she think she sees herself as God does? Redeemed? ) She responds, "YES!!! He sees me white, without blemish or spot."

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okay,, this is beautiful,,, and it is sad too. Is that how she views herself in the mirror? "insignificant.... little"????

Her holy vision though remeinds me of when I held Brian Fegter's little newborn, Everett at the New Year, and saw myself as pure as he was....that revelation.

We got interupted. She had called me on her lunch break, and her alarm rang.